Deprecated: Methods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; CBlacklist has a deprecated constructor in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_blacklist.php on line 6

Deprecated: Methods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; CBannedWords has a deprecated constructor in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_blacklist.php on line 34

Deprecated: Methods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; Sidebar has a deprecated constructor in /membri/iceberg/blog/plugins/sidebar/Sidebar.php on line 8

Deprecated: Methods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; Archives has a deprecated constructor in /membri/iceberg/blog/plugins/sidebar/Archives/plugin.php on line 8

Deprecated: Methods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; AuthoringMenu has a deprecated constructor in /membri/iceberg/blog/plugins/sidebar/AuthoringMenu/plugin.php on line 8

Deprecated: Methods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; Avatar has a deprecated constructor in /membri/iceberg/blog/plugins/sidebar/Avatar/plugin.php on line 8

Deprecated: Methods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; Calendar has a deprecated constructor in /membri/iceberg/blog/plugins/sidebar/Calendar/plugin.php on line 8

Deprecated: Methods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; Categories has a deprecated constructor in /membri/iceberg/blog/plugins/sidebar/Categories/plugin.php on line 8

Deprecated: Methods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; CounterTotals has a deprecated constructor in /membri/iceberg/blog/plugins/sidebar/CounterTotals/plugin.php on line 8

Deprecated: Methods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; Links has a deprecated constructor in /membri/iceberg/blog/plugins/sidebar/Links/plugin.php on line 8

Deprecated: Methods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; RecentComments has a deprecated constructor in /membri/iceberg/blog/plugins/sidebar/RecentComments/plugin.php on line 8

Deprecated: Methods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; RecentEntries has a deprecated constructor in /membri/iceberg/blog/plugins/sidebar/RecentEntries/plugin.php on line 8

Deprecated: Methods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; RecentTrackbacks has a deprecated constructor in /membri/iceberg/blog/plugins/sidebar/RecentTrackbacks/plugin.php on line 8

Deprecated: Methods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; Preferences has a deprecated constructor in /membri/iceberg/blog/plugins/sidebar/Preferences/plugin.php on line 8

Deprecated: Methods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; RandomEntry has a deprecated constructor in /membri/iceberg/blog/plugins/sidebar/RandomEntry/plugin.php on line 8

Deprecated: Methods with the same name as their class will not be constructors in a future version of PHP; Search has a deprecated constructor in /membri/iceberg/blog/plugins/sidebar/Search/plugin.php on line 8

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Warning: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_display.php on line 718
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Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method arrays::explode_key() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_entry.php on line 254

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method arrays::explode_key() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_entry.php on line 254

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method arrays::explode_key() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_entry.php on line 254

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method arrays::explode_key() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_entry.php on line 254

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method arrays::explode_key() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_entry.php on line 254

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method arrays::explode_key() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_entry.php on line 254

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method arrays::explode_key() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_entry.php on line 254

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::file_listing() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 29

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method arrays::explode_key() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_entry.php on line 254

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::read_file() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 13

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

Deprecated: Non-static method fileio::strip_extension() should not be called statically in /membri/iceberg/blog/scripts/sb_fileio.php on line 41

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Luglio 
L'ha rifatto... ieri sera.
Stessa cosa, lo fa per me. E io pero' oggi sono qui su questo blog, sto a pensare a Camicetta, sto euforica dopo una serata bellissima, oggi, ma penso mi abbia un po' tanto turbata la litigata di ieri.
Stamattina un piccolo bis, mentre gli gridavo, davanti a un'amica, "sembravi una bestia!", poi ho preso la prima cosa che avevo davanti, un libro, ero arrabbiatissima, l'ho lanciato in terra. Si è messo a ridere, è scappato mentre lo inseguivo pensando "ma che gli faccio..." e son riuscita solo ad abbracciarlo, pensando "stammi vicino, stammi vicino...", mentre lui mi allontanava, io insistevo.. Ho paura a scrivere queste cose. Non voglio vedere il rapporto con lucidità, non voglio allontanarmi da lui. Ieri non mi ha fatto niente, neppure un mese fa mi ha fatto niente. Io oggi sono stata una stronza a raccontarlo, erano cose fra me e lui... l'amica ha commentato dicendo che se fra me e lui è comunque tutto a posto, è tutto a posto anche per lei. Ha capito.
Io pero' non sopporto di essere presa a colpi, mi fa stare troppo male. Neppure se lo fa per me.

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Giugno 
Mi ha presa oggettivamente a botte.
Dice "ti sto educando", dice che lo fa per me.
Non è il mio fidanzato. Sarei potuta andar via in qualsiasi momento, ma non volevo separarmi da lui, sono rimasta.
Penso di aver ucciso il rapporto non avendo "obbedito". Non mi stima. Non avrebbe mai preso a colpi in questo modo una donna che stima.
Mentre mi colpiva ho sperato che mi ammazzasse, non me ne importava nulla, non ce la facevo piu'.
Non mi ha fatto niente, sono intera, ma mi ha detto di andarmene, non mi vuole piu' vedere, ed è stato peggio delle botte.


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27 Gennaio 2014. Quasi un mese dopo. 
da Skype.
[00:27:02] Andrew: francesca non ti ha tolto nulla
[00:27:10] Andrew: se avevi speranze su di me
[00:27:13] Andrew: erano malriposte



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Disperata 
Come faccio a studiare, cosi'...
Oltre al ridicolo di studiare vent'anni le stesse materie, la disperazione viene dal vuoto che sembra incolmabile...
Sembrano tutti felici, o comunque nessuno sembra solo quanto me.
Non visualizzo niente, non immagino niente, so che vorrei tanto un suo abbraccio che se fosse qui per un momento non lo vorrei, per non farlo finire e non ricominciare da capo ad essere disperata e sola.
Sento il fiato di persone che mi vorrebbero addosso, ma io non voglio nessuno. Non vorrei nessuno neppure se non avessi mai incontrato lui.
O forse, se non fosse mai successo, continuerei a circondarmi di merda.
Non posso tornare indietro, e non voglio farlo.
Sento gli odori, ho assaggiato il miele.

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Pomeriggio estivo. 
Camminavo, sovrappensiero. Solo l'ago di una siringa davanti a me mi ha fatto fare un salto e mi ha riportata nella realtà.
Ho ripreso il controllo.
I gay, nascosti tra i cespugli, le auto che non avevano mai i suoi numeri nella targa, il silenzio, la curiosità e lo schifo di un "vienimi in bocca" che non ero io ma lui a voler ingoiare lo schifo di uno sconosciuto di mezza età con la pelle chiarissima e rovinata dal sole, "tocca..." "no".
Quella siringa mi ha permesso di andare avanti, senza paura e senza ricordi, concentrandomi soltanto sui miei passi

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"quello giusto". 
Siamo tantissimi e durante la nostra vita conosciamo un numero estremamente limitato di persone. Qualsiasi sia il numero, saranno sempre troppo poche per avere la certezza di aver trovato quella giusta. Ci si accontenta, o probabilmente alla fin fine si sta bene con tante di esse.
Non esiste, dunque, la "persona giusta", ma una di queste persone arrivera' nel momento giusto, e per questo motivo sceglieremo lei.

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vediamo come va 
Guida personale agli uomini.
Voglio una persona con le mie stesse idee su come dovrebbe andare il mondo, e la stessa voglia di migliorarlo. SI'
Voglio una persona che mi voglia vicina 30 giorni al mese, e non 25. CREDO DI SI'
Voglio una persona a cui manco quando mi sta lontana. NON LO SO
E che, quando e' lontana, mi manca.TANTO
Voglio una persona che non si stufi di me se quando mi sveglio piango. NON LO SO
Se quando mi sveglio continuo a dormire, anziche' "produrre" soldi o titoli di studio, se non mi va. E'CRITICA
Voglio una persona che mi racconti le sue emozioni e i suoi problemi, senza apparire debole ai miei occhi.NON LO FA SPESSO, MA E' DIGNITOSO.
E che, quando sente i miei, non me li rinfacci ogni giorno, ODDIO non mi costringa a risolverli INVECE SI' e non mi veda come una cretina. SPERO DI NO!
Voglio una persona che mi coinvolga nelle scelte della sua vita. NO
Che quando mi dice "ti amo", sa cosa sta dicendo. SI' (NON LO DICE...)
Che quando mi guarda negli occhi, sa cosa penso. DIO NON ESISTE
Che sia sincera. ODDIO CHISSA'. UN PO' SI'...
Che non mi stufi, e che non mi faccia desiderare altri. VORREI STARE CON LUI
Che non abbia 20 anni in piu' di me, e neanche 15 o 10 (ahia...). E' PERFETTO
Che ci sia a qualsiasi ora del giorno e della notte, se ho bisogno di lei. SENZA ESAGERARE CREDO DI SI'
E che la cosa sia reciproca. OVVIO
Voglio una persona con cui poter litigare senza mettere in dubbio l'amore e il rapporto. SI'
Voglio anche essere l'unica per questa persona. PUO' DARSI.
E, ovviamente, voglio esserne innamorata a palla (difficile questa cosa, cavolo). A PALLONCINO

Voglio anche avere la forza di lasciarla, appena intuisco che non va. MAGARI RIVALUTARE, PRIMA.
Anche se innamorata. NON RESTO INNAMORATA DI CHI MI RIFIUTA
Non ho piu' voglia di mendicare amore. SERVE ATTENZIONE

Rileggo le parole qua sopra e mi viene il panico... non ho neanche piu' voglia di innamorarmi, forse. NO... NESSUN PANICO, MI GESTISCO MEGLIO.
Non darei tutto cio' a nessuno, ora, forse. A LUI FORSE SI'.

Ho voglia di un po' di eccessi, di riprendermi i miei anni, di provare tutto, ma solo quando ne ho voglia davvero. GIA' FATTO... .

ERA: http://iceberg.altervista.org/blog/inde ... 324-040957

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pensieri... quelli butti 
Dopo una notte di lavoro (mia), è venuto a trovarmi a casa, non parlava, è andato in bagno, è rimasto mezz'ora, ha chiesto scusa e si è buttato sul letto... e io a pulire il bagno, perché pur tentando di ripulire aveva lasciato uno schifo, e non vivevo sola... la mattina dopo mi ha salutata, è andato a casa sua, e mi ha chiesto se un'ora dopo poteva passarmi a prendere per mangiare fuori insieme, mi ha portata sui monti qua vicino... poi dopo pranzo una passeggiata, e poi ha fermato l'auto in uno sterrato... e avevo pensieri merdosi in testa, ma poi ho sorriso, intanto ci aveva "circondati" una famiglia che cercava funghi....

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strategie 
comportamenti da tenere... e si' che son drogata che se vedo il monitor è sano. Tutta roba medica, ufficiale, prescrizione. Carino effetto collaterale psichedelico, le lettere si muovono in 3d, se mi concentro si accartoccia, ma volevo farmi due appunti seri sugli uomini.
Se l'uomo che ti piace organizza una festa possono succedere diverse cose

che non ci puoi proprio andare, e se puo' rinviare rinvia, se non puo' non son fatti tuoi

che non hai soldi, ma spesso lui presume non li abbia e non ti invita. Tipico.
Interessante invece se ti propone di pagarti il viaggio. La' si vede anche il tuo interesse, e dovrebbe prenderne atto anche lui.

Poi c'è l'invito... si', no, a prescindere dai soldi.... se non mi invita, non ci faccio niente, sto zitta, sto a fare le cose mie, non ci perdo tempo, mi pare ovvio.

Fa tristezza, prendo atto, se l'uomo è, come dev'essere solo una fetta di una buona torta, troppi drammi non ne possono accadere.

In questo momento la torta è quasi finita, e lui è la fetta piu' buona, c'è tanta gente e potrebbero prenderla. Il resto è stato divorato...

Penso che sarebbe costruttivo creare una torta nuova, da zero, se poi quella fetta per me rimane, son felice. In ogni caso mi serve una torta nuova e per avere torte nuove serve silenzio e riflessione e un po' di cibo, anche in briciole, ma non feste.

Va tutto bene, è sempre la solita storia di merda.... per una festa non son diventata cocainomane... c'ero vicina, ma per via di quella festa a cui non son stata invitata, mi son riempita di idee tossiche... e poi le amiche si son fatte la mia parte, perché il cazzo era stato solo rimandato... non ricordo molto, ricordo loro sul mio corpo, ed era bellissimo, esperienza fantastica, e niente droga, nulla, solo i loro corpi accanto al mio, profonda gioia perché uno sicuramente sarebbe stato con me il giorno dopo.

Ora sono sola, nessuno rimarrebbe con me il giorno dopo, che problemi mi faccio.... COGLIONA. SMETTILA DI ELEMOSINARE. TU VUOI ELEMOSINARE, SMETTILA SMETTILA SMETTILA RICONOSCILO ACCETTALO, LASCIA PERDERE!!!!
L'HAI GIA' FATTO, HAI VISTO A COSA PORTA.... BASTA.
NO, cazzo, NO.
TI CONOSCO... TOGLITELO DALLA TESTA PRIMA DI DETESTARLO!!! Che poi la vita è lunga, e tu stai cambiando. Lui non sai... ci son mille modi di darsi amore e gioia, senza ossessionarsi col sesso. Stavolta scegline uno buono, cazzo! La presenza, hai la tua, sei bella, sei sana, e hai un sacco di cose da fare, tantissimo ancora da imparare, sei all'inizio... non hai soldi, chi ti ama ti amera' anche cosi', senza costringerti a niente...
Una persona bella come te, non rimarrà a piangere sul pavimento. Non sarebbe sensato. Sei figa, vali, sai, vuoi sapere, sei attenta, puntuale, precisa, sensibile, accurata...
Per forza, se nessuno dovesse volerti, per forza qualcosa te la inventi, donna.
Credici, e non mollare.
Ti amo.

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riflessioni notturne 
per i ragazzi che adoro non valgo un cazzo, quelli che mi adorano non valgono un cazzo per me. Ma non è quello il problema, cazzo. Il problema è che ho 31 anni e non sono piu' una ragazza e sto continuando a usare la parola ragazzo!

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